Ep. 003 — 4 Ways to Connect Better with Your Audience 4 Ways to Connect Better with Your Audience4 Ways to Connect Better with Your Audience

Hosted by Roddy Galbraith

A Maxwell Leadership Podcast Network production

Weekly highlights from The Speaker’s Edge — a Maxwell Leadership Podcast Network production hosted by Roddy Galbraith. Learn how to communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact — in business, on stage, and in life.

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This Week’s Big Idea

Connecting with your audience is more important than your content.

Most speakers obsess over “what am I going to say?”
But the audience decides whether they’re even going to listen to you before they decide whether they’ll believe you.

Connection comes first. It’s job number one.
If they don’t feel like you “get” them, you don’t get access.

Key Takeaways

1. It’s not about impressing them — it’s about serving them.
Trying to “look good” on stage creates distance. Connection closes distance. Your job is not “be impressive,” it’s “be useful.”

2. People open up when they feel: “You’re like me.”
We connect on common ground — shared struggle, shared goal, shared emotion. When you say “I know how that feels,” people lean in.

3. Connectors go first.
Don’t wait for the audience to warm up. You initiate the relationship. You show curiosity. You move toward them. That’s leadership.

4. Believe in them — and let them feel it.
People lean toward people who encourage them. When you treat your audience like they’re capable, smart, worth the effort… they’ll listen to you and follow you.

5. Give them your full attention.
Whether you’re talking to one person or 1,000, act like they’re the most important person in the room. Use names. Ask questions. Actually listen to the answers.

Quote of the Week

“They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” — John C. Maxwell

Resources & Practice

1. Homework: Connection Scan
Before your next meeting / presentation / coaching call, answer these out loud:

• Who’s in the “audience” (even if it’s just one person)?

• What do they care about right now?

• How can I make this about them, not me?

Do this before you build slides or outline talking points. This one habit alone will change how people respond to you.

2. Practice this opener:
Instead of “I’m excited to share XYZ with you,” try:
“Before we start, I just want you to know — I get where you are. I’ve been there. Here’s what I learned that might actually help.”

That creates common ground + shows belief in them + signals service. It hits 3 of the 4 connection levers in under 20 seconds.

3. Companion Guide
Grab the Speaking Roadmap + Connection Notes here:
MaxwellLeadership.com/TheSpeakersEdge

Full Transcript (Ep. 003 — 4 Ways to Connect Better with Your Audience)
Released: March 17, 2025

This transcript was auto-generated. It may contain minor errors.

Hey guys, welcome back to The Speaker’s Edge podcast — the podcast designed to help you learn from some of the world’s very best speakers and communicators so that you can learn to master your message and inspire your audience every single time you speak.

I’m your host for this podcast, Roddy Galbraith. I’m delighted you’ve chosen to join us in this episode.

In this episode we’re talking about the importance of connecting — building rapport, connecting with your audience. Whether that’s one person sitting in front of you, a small group, or a large group, live or virtual, it doesn’t matter. Connecting is a core principle of communication — probably the most important principle there is.

In the first episode, we talked about fear and how that’s where you want to start if you have anxiety around speaking. You want to start by addressing your fear and building confidence, even unshakable self-confidence.

Then we talked about the importance of the audience — that the person or the people in front of you are the most important people in the room. You start by understanding who they are and how you can help them.

Now, the next most important thing you can do — and yes, there’s an intentional order here — is connect with the person or the people in front of you. Connecting.

So in this episode we’re going to talk about connecting: why it matters, what it really means, and then I’ll walk you through four approaches you can use to connect more effectively.

Don’t forget you can download the resources that go with these episodes at MaxwellLeadership.com/TheSpeakersEdge. You can grab your cheat sheet there.

WHY CONNECTING MATTERS

Before we dig into the four approaches, let’s talk about what we mean by “connecting,” and why it matters so much.

John Maxwell wrote a whole book on this: “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.” In that book he teaches five practices, five principles — pages and pages just on connecting.

Then, more recently, he wrote “The 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication.” In that book, Chapter 7 — which is just one of the 16 chapters — is on connecting. And right at the beginning of that chapter he says: this is by far the most important idea in the entire book. Connecting is the most important idea in the whole book.

So, connecting is job number one. John says that all the time. It’s the first and most important thing you focus on when you’re communicating with an audience.

Now, what do we mean by “connecting”?

Think about what people are like when you first meet them. Most of us start a little guarded. A little judged-up. Arms crossed. “Who’s this?” We’re a little aloof at first.

Then sometimes, if things go well, we loosen. We lean in. We’re like, “Okay, I’ll listen.” That softening — that moment where they lean in instead of lean back — that’s connecting.

Les Brown says it like this: you’ve got to “disengage the ego.” Humor is a great way to do that. Warmth is a great way to do that. Service is a great way to do that.

Another way to say it: your audience needs to feel like they know you, like you, and trust you.

And that’s an order:
1. Know.
2. Like.
3. Trust.

If they don’t get to know you, they can’t decide whether they like you. And if they don’t like you, they’re not going to trust you. So authenticity matters. The goal is not “perfect you.” The goal is “you at your best.” Honest, warm, human, present.

Let’s connect that with what we said last episode.

We said communication has three parts, going all the way back to Aristotle:
– the speaker
– the message
– the audience

Then we said: who’s the most important of those three?

It’s the audience. Every time. Because they decide how well you did. It’s not about what you said. It’s whether they received it.

Well, that’s also true of connection. THEY decide whether to even let you in. THEY decide if they’re going to listen to you at all.

And let’s be honest: people are busy, distracted, skeptical, and just a little bit judgy at first. (That includes you and me, by the way.) So connection is the first job because if you don’t connect, nothing else you say will land.

You can’t truly connect if you’re centered on yourself. If you’re thinking, “I hope they like me. I hope I look impressive. I hope I don’t forget my lines,” then the spotlight is on you, not them. When the spotlight is on you, you’re focused on what you’re trying to GET from them — approval, validation, credibility.

Connection flips that. Connection says: “I’m here for YOU. How can I SERVE you? How can I help you?” When you do that, the gap between you and them closes.

That’s important: “impressing” people creates distance (“Wow, look at them up there”). “Connecting” closes distance (“Oh… they’re just like me”).

Influence lives in that closeness.

John says it this way: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” When they feel that you care, THEN they care how much you know.

So here’s how we build that connection in a practical way. Four approaches.

APPROACH 1. FIND COMMON GROUND

Connection loves common ground.

Common ground can be:
– A shared goal.
– A shared struggle.
– A shared emotion.
– A shared enemy.
– A shared passion.
– Even just a shared sense of humor.

Think about how quickly you warm up to someone who “gets it.” If I say to you, “Look, I know how scary it feels to stand up in front of people and speak. I’ve been there. I remember shaking. I remember thinking ‘I can’t do this.’ I felt exactly the same way…” — what am I doing?

I’m meeting you on common emotional ground: fear. I’m saying “I know how you feel, I felt the same way, here’s what I discovered.” That’s bonding. That’s trust fuel.

Vulnerability works the same way. Mistakes and failures are AMAZING common ground. My mentor Barry Wilson used to say, “They respect you for your wins, but they LOVE you for your failures.” When we tell the truth about where we’ve struggled, people lean in because it’s human. We’ve all been there.

Shared mission is also powerful common ground. I once went to the Dominican Republic with John Maxwell and about 150 Maxwell Leadership Certified coaches. We were invited by the President to help lead a national transformation effort. We’d all paid our own way to be there. Translators volunteered. Thousands of people were being trained.

When I stood in front of one of those groups, I didn’t start with, “Here’s who I am and why I’m qualified.” I started with, “This week is special. You’re part of something historic that’s happening in YOUR country. We all flew here, on our own dime, because we believe in what’s happening here.”

Instant bonding. Why? Shared mission. We’re “us,” not “us and them.”

Same idea with a common “enemy.” If you’re doing a speaker training workshop and everyone in the room is secretly terrified of public speaking, guess what? That fear becomes the shared dragon. “It’s us versus this fear.” That’s glue.

And here’s a really sweet version of common ground: loving what THEY love.

I saw this with our daughter Eliza. When she was young, she adored bouncing on the trampoline. One Sunday, her great aunt — Auntie Shirley, who was in her 80s, both hips replaced — came to visit. Eliza said, “Auntie Shirley, come trampoline!” I started to say, “No, sweetheart, Auntie Shirley can’t,” but before I finished, Auntie Shirley was already getting up.

She shuffled outside, climbed — slowly — onto the trampoline, held Eliza’s hands, and bounced with her. When they came back in, Eliza was glued to Auntie Shirley. Instant best friend.

Why? Because Auntie Shirley did the thing Eliza LOVED. She entered Eliza’s world. That’s common ground in its purest form.

Takeaway from Approach 1:
– Look for common ground.
– Lead with it.
– Build on it.

APPROACH 2. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR CONNECTING (YOU GO FIRST)

Connection doesn’t “just happen.” Someone has to start it.

Great connectors don’t wait to be noticed.
Great connectors go FIRST.

John Maxwell once told me, “Everyone thinks they’re a ‘people person’… as long as someone else walks up first, smiles first, asks their name first, and takes an interest.”

The difference with true connectors is, they’re the one who walks up first.

That means:
– You don’t hang back, acting cool and distant.
– You don’t wait to “see what they’re like.”
– You go to them.

Why? Because if you hang back, you come across cold and indifferent — even if you’re not cold and indifferent.

This is huge: it’s not about how YOU feel inside. It’s about how THEY EXPERIENCE YOU.

If you’re thinking “I’m just shy,” nobody sees that. They see “aloof,” or “uninterested.” So we take responsibility for bridging the gap.

And here’s the good news: just starting the relationship is 80% of it. You don’t have to start perfectly. You just have to start. Once it’s started, you can build it.

This is why, even in a big audience, I’ll ask early:
– “How many of you already know what we’re doing today?”
– “How many of you are only here because your boss told you to be here?”
– “How many of you would rather be anywhere else right now?”

People laugh, hands go up, tension drops. Why? Because I’m going first. I’m naming their reality out loud, instead of pretending it’s not there. I’m taking responsibility for breaking the ice. When you do that, they’ll often meet you halfway.

Takeaway from Approach 2:
– Don’t wait to connect.
– YOU initiate.
– YOU remove the distance.

APPROACH 3. BELIEVE IN THEM — AND SAY SO

It’s not enough to believe in people quietly. You have to let them FEEL that you believe in them.

That’s called encouragement.

People lean toward encouragers. We’re drawn to people who are “life-giving,” not “life-draining.” You know exactly what I mean. You’ve felt both.

So when I look at an audience, I’m not thinking, “Wow, tough crowd, prove yourselves to me.” I’m thinking, “There is greatness in you. You can absolutely do this. You are capable of far more than you think.”

Les Brown says this all the time: “There’s greatness in you.” And he means it. And people FEEL it.

John Maxwell does this in the first 30 seconds. He “puts a 10 on your head.” He treats you like you’re already a 10 out of 10 — not in an artificial “you’re perfect” way, but in a “I see who you can become” way.

That matters. German philosopher Goethe said something like this: if I see you only as you are now, I make you worse. But if I see you as you could be, I help you become what you’re capable of.

When someone stands in front of you and clearly believes in you — even more than you currently believe in yourself — you lean in. And leaning in is connection.

Takeaway from Approach 3:
– See people at their best.
– Expect good things from them.
– Say it out loud.

APPROACH 4. GIVE THEM 100% OF YOUR ATTENTION

Ask yourself honestly: when you walk into a room, are you “Here I am!” or “There you are”?

“Here I am!” energy says:
– Notice me.
– Pay attention to me.
– Appreciate me.

“There you are” energy says:
– I see you.
– I’m with you.
– You matter right now.

That second posture — “There you are” — is how you make people feel seen, heard, and understood. Oprah has said that’s the universal human need. We all want to feel seen, heard, and understood.

Important: it’s not enough that you SEE them. They have to FEEL seen.
It’s not enough that you HEAR them. They have to FEEL heard.
It’s not enough that you UNDERSTAND them. They have to FEEL understood.

That means you slow down and give them your full attention in the moment you’re with them.

John does this beautifully. When he’s talking with you one-on-one, you feel like you’re the only person in the world. He’ll even say, if he needs to take notes on his phone, “I’m writing this down because it’s important.” He doesn’t want you to think you’re being ignored. He wants you to FEEL how much he values what you’re saying.

Even something as simple as using someone’s name matters. Not “buddy,” not “hey man,” but their actual name — learned, remembered, spoken back. It tells people: “You matter enough for me to remember you.”

That is connection.

RECAP

So, to wrap this episode:

Connecting is not “nice to have.” Connecting is the foundation of influence. It’s how you earn the right to be heard.

Here are the four approaches:

1. Find common ground.
   – Common goals, common fears, common humanity.
   – “I know how you feel. I’ve felt that way too.”

2. Take responsibility for connecting.
   – Connectors go first.
   – Don’t wait for them to come to you. You go to them.

3. Believe in them — and say so.
   – Encourage people openly and sincerely.
   – See them at their best and speak to that.

4. Give them 100% of your attention.
   – Be “There you are,” not “Here I am.”
   – Help them feel seen, heard, and understood.

Last thought: connection is not about learning a few tricks. It’s about becoming the kind of person other people want to let in.

And here’s the best part: it’s learnable. You don’t have to be “born a people person.” You can get better at connecting. You absolutely can.

In the next episode, we’re going to move from connection to content. We’ll ask: “Okay, so once you’ve connected… what do you actually SAY?” We’ll talk about message, clarity, and relevance.

Until then, don’t forget you can download the companion guide at MaxwellLeadership.com/TheSpeakersEdge.

Communication is one of the most important skills you will ever develop. It will do more for your business, your career, your confidence, your relationships — everything — than almost any other single skill.

And inside communication, connection is job number one.

Keep going. Keep growing. Master your message so you can inspire your audience every time you speak.

Thanks for listening. God bless.