The Tooth Fairy
Aug 15, 2016Friday night was our first night in Orlando. We went for a fantastic meal at the Steakhouse on the Golf Course with Paul and Kelly and some of the rest of the team who were in early. We ended up talking about family and kids and Father Christmas (like you do)!
‘Roddy doesn’t think we should encourage the kids to believe in Father Christmas.’ Susan said mockingly.
‘No, I didn’t quite say that, I just think you have to be careful with what information goes into their young minds.’ I said defensively, I could tell everyone thought I was mean.
‘What harm could it do to believe in Santa?’ Kay pleaded.
‘Well, a few years ago, Susan told Amelie that there was a tooth fairy!’ I said.
‘Of course!’ 3 people jumped in at the same time.
‘Well Susan used to give Amelie two pounds for each tooth she put under her pillow.’ I said.
‘What’s wrong with that?’
‘Well, nothing I suppose, if you always remember to put it there. Several times though, Amelie came into the kitchen in the morning in tears – D-ahhhhh-deeeeee .. the Tooth Fairy didn’t come!’ I said frowning at Susan ..
‘We made a real effort with the first child’ Susan said, ‘then we kind of went off the boil a bit with kids 2, 3 and 4!’
‘Listen to this’ I said, ‘when Eliza’s first tooth fell out, Amelie was more excited than Eliza was. Because of her brain injury, Eliza was not totally up to speed with the process – but Amelie was. Amelie helped Eliza put the tooth under her pillow and the next morning, she rushed in to show Eliza the money. Only trouble was, the tooth was still there! This was one of the times it was forgotten!
‘Amelie came running downstairs and told me that the Tooth Fairy hadn’t come for Eliza’s tooth. Oh no, I said, maybe it wasn’t put under the pillow right. Then an hour later, I sneaked up and put some money under the pillow. But I only had one pound coin, so I put that under her pillow.
‘When Susan woke up a bit later, Amelie took Susan to see the tooth. But now, it was gone and there was 1 pound in its place. Amelie was puzzled for a moment and then looked up at Susan and said ‘Why did Eliza only get one pound from the tooth fairy, is it because she’s disabled?’
Everyone gasped, like we were the worst parents in the world!
I remember listening to one of Zig’s tapes on raising confident kids, and one of the things that stuck with me was when he said - if bed time is 7:30pm then bed time is 7:30pm. At 7:30pm, the TV goes off, everything stops, and the children go up to bed. If you just watch the TV till the next advert, what message are you sending to your children about the importance of them and bed time?
I love that idea, but we have real trouble implementing it. Our children are good company .. we enjoy spending time with them, in fact we love it, so we often want to make exceptions and have them stay up a little longer when it suits us. We want to spoil them, when it suits us.
It’s difficult enough to stick to what you plan when you’re the only one involved. When there are two competing philosophies though, it’s much harder. Throw in the grandparents and their ideas of how things should work and it’s harder still.
I think raising children, like so much in life, comes down to discerning when to stick to the rules and when it’s ok to stray; when to try harder and when to give up; when to hold on tighter and when to let go!
‘Roddy doesn’t think we should encourage the kids to believe in Father Christmas.’ Susan said mockingly.
‘No, I didn’t quite say that, I just think you have to be careful with what information goes into their young minds.’ I said defensively, I could tell everyone thought I was mean.
‘What harm could it do to believe in Santa?’ Kay pleaded.
‘Well, a few years ago, Susan told Amelie that there was a tooth fairy!’ I said.
‘Of course!’ 3 people jumped in at the same time.
‘Well Susan used to give Amelie two pounds for each tooth she put under her pillow.’ I said.
‘What’s wrong with that?’
‘Well, nothing I suppose, if you always remember to put it there. Several times though, Amelie came into the kitchen in the morning in tears – D-ahhhhh-deeeeee .. the Tooth Fairy didn’t come!’ I said frowning at Susan ..
‘We made a real effort with the first child’ Susan said, ‘then we kind of went off the boil a bit with kids 2, 3 and 4!’
‘Listen to this’ I said, ‘when Eliza’s first tooth fell out, Amelie was more excited than Eliza was. Because of her brain injury, Eliza was not totally up to speed with the process – but Amelie was. Amelie helped Eliza put the tooth under her pillow and the next morning, she rushed in to show Eliza the money. Only trouble was, the tooth was still there! This was one of the times it was forgotten!
‘Amelie came running downstairs and told me that the Tooth Fairy hadn’t come for Eliza’s tooth. Oh no, I said, maybe it wasn’t put under the pillow right. Then an hour later, I sneaked up and put some money under the pillow. But I only had one pound coin, so I put that under her pillow.
‘When Susan woke up a bit later, Amelie took Susan to see the tooth. But now, it was gone and there was 1 pound in its place. Amelie was puzzled for a moment and then looked up at Susan and said ‘Why did Eliza only get one pound from the tooth fairy, is it because she’s disabled?’
Everyone gasped, like we were the worst parents in the world!
I remember listening to one of Zig’s tapes on raising confident kids, and one of the things that stuck with me was when he said - if bed time is 7:30pm then bed time is 7:30pm. At 7:30pm, the TV goes off, everything stops, and the children go up to bed. If you just watch the TV till the next advert, what message are you sending to your children about the importance of them and bed time?
I love that idea, but we have real trouble implementing it. Our children are good company .. we enjoy spending time with them, in fact we love it, so we often want to make exceptions and have them stay up a little longer when it suits us. We want to spoil them, when it suits us.
It’s difficult enough to stick to what you plan when you’re the only one involved. When there are two competing philosophies though, it’s much harder. Throw in the grandparents and their ideas of how things should work and it’s harder still.
I think raising children, like so much in life, comes down to discerning when to stick to the rules and when it’s ok to stray; when to try harder and when to give up; when to hold on tighter and when to let go!
It's ok to go with the Tooth Fairy story if you're gonna fully commit and follow through - delivering on the promises that little magic lady makes .. or else suffer the consequences :) Don't even get me started on Father Christmas!
Until next time ..
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