What Happens When the Tooth Fairy Forgets? (A Parenting Gut Punch I’ll Never Forget)

We all want to give our kids magic. We also miss things, forget things, and accidentally break their hearts.
This is the story of the Tooth Fairy, one very honest big sister, and the parenting moment that made a whole table of adults gasp out loud.

Friday night in Orlando

Friday night was our first night in Orlando. We went for a fantastic meal at the Steakhouse on the Golf Course with Kelly and some of the rest of the team who were in early. We ended up talking about family and kids and Father Christmas (like you do)!

“Roddy doesn’t think we should encourage the kids to believe in Father Christmas,” Susan said mockingly.

“No, I didn’t quite say that. I just think you have to be careful with what information goes into their young minds,” I said defensively. I could tell everyone thought I was mean.

“What harm could it do to believe in Santa?” Kay pleaded.

“Well, a few years ago, Susan told Amelie that there was a tooth fairy!” I said.

“Of course!” three people jumped in at the same time.

“Well, Susan used to give Amelie two pounds for each tooth she put under her pillow,” I said.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Well, nothing I suppose — if you always remember to put it there.”

Several times, though, Amelie came into the kitchen in the morning in tears: “D-ahhhhh-deeeeee… the Tooth Fairy didn’t come!” I said, frowning at Susan.

“We made a real effort with the first child,” Susan said. “Then we kind of went off the boil a bit with kids 2, 3 and 4!”

When big sister cares more than the Tooth Fairy

“Listen to this,” I said. “When Eliza’s first tooth fell out, Amelie was more excited than Eliza was.

Because of her brain injury, Eliza was not totally up to speed with the process — but Amelie was. Amelie helped Eliza put the tooth under her pillow and the next morning she rushed in to show Eliza the money.

Only trouble was, the tooth was still there.”

This was one of the times it was forgotten.

“Amelie came running downstairs and told me that the Tooth Fairy hadn’t come for Eliza’s tooth.

‘Oh no,’ I said, ‘maybe it wasn’t put under the pillow right.’ Then an hour later I sneaked up and put some money under the pillow.

But I only had one pound coin, so I put that under her pillow.”

“When Susan woke up a bit later, Amelie took Susan to see the tooth. But now it was gone and there was £1 in its place.

Amelie was puzzled for a moment and then looked up at Susan and said,

‘Why did Eliza only get one pound from the Tooth Fairy? Is it because she’s disabled?’

Everyone around the table gasped like we were the worst parents in the world.

“Bedtime is 7:30” sounds easy until you actually have kids

I remember listening to one of Zig Ziglar’s tapes on raising confident kids, and one of the things that stuck with me was when he said: if bedtime is 7:30 p.m., then bedtime is 7:30 p.m.

At 7:30 p.m., the TV goes off, everything stops, and the children go up to bed. If you just “watch until the next advert,” what message are you sending to your children about the importance of them and bedtime?

I love that idea — but we have real trouble implementing it.

Our children are good company. We enjoy spending time with them, in fact we love it. So we often want to make exceptions and have them stay up a little longer when it suits us. We want to spoil them… when it suits us.

It’s never just you and them

It’s difficult enough to stick to what you plan when you’re the only one involved. When there are two competing philosophies (mum vs dad), it’s much harder. Throw in the grandparents and their ideas of how things should work and it’s harder still.

I think raising children, like so much in life, comes down to discerning when to stick to the rules and when it’s ok to stray; when to try harder and when to give up; when to hold on tighter and when to let go.

It’s okay to go with the Tooth Fairy story if you’re gonna fully commit and follow through — delivering on the promises that little magic lady makes…

…or else suffer the consequences :)

Don’t even get me started on Father Christmas!

What this means for you as a parent (and as a leader)

• Kids hear more than your words. They feel your consistency. When we change the rules based on our mood, kids learn “promises are optional.” Teams learn that too.
• Good intentions don’t erase the gap. We meant well. We still created a moment where one child felt “less than.” That gap is where trust leaks.
• It’s not about being perfect. It’s about owning the standard you’re actually willing to keep — and being honest about it instead of pretending.

That last one matters. Whether you’re parenting or leading a room, people don’t need a flawless hero. They need someone they can believe.