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Get down on your knees and play

Aug 11, 2016
 
It’s 6am Thursday morning and I’m having a cup of tea (hot tea!) watching the rabbits dig holes in my lawn. I love my mornings when the house is quiet, everyone’s asleep and my mind is free to go where it wants. I keep thinking ‘I must shoot those rabbits, they are causing chaos!’ but I’ve had a shotgun for 5 years and never fired it once. They are a pain, but we live in the countryside, so I guess we’re sharing our land with them!

Tomorrow morning early we are off to Orlando for the biggest International Maxwell Certification event ever, and for some time, my mind has been filled with ‘perfect preparation!’ But the day before we leave is always a sobering experience because the urgency and intoxication of preparing my pieces of what will be an unbelievable training gradually gives way to the realisation that we will not see our four beautiful children for 12 'sleeps'.

They will be with our Nanny who they have known their whole lives, and she moves in to our house with her 3 kids and they all have a party while we’re away - so we will miss them more than they miss us, I fear!

But in putting together my final checklist of things to make sure I’ve done before leaving, things to do while in the airport lounge, things to do on the plane, things to do on arrival at the hotel .. my mind keeps coming back to ‘connect with kids.’

Last night Leon asked me if I’d play Mario Kart 8 with him on the Wii-U. I told him I was just joining my Mentorship call, so couldn’t play. I came back in after it finished to grab a bite to eat, I had 10 minutes before my next call – the Calm Countdown call which would run for 3 hours and finish after they’d gone to bed. His face lit up as I rushed into the kitchen ‘Dad, can we play now?’ he said.

‘Sorry Leon, I’m just starting another call.’ I said at high speed.

We don’t really like the amount of time that he spends playing on one digital device or another, and so on the one hand I don’t want to encourage him to play more; but connecting with my children is something different isn’t it? And we have to connect on common ground, wherever we can find it.

When I look back at my childhood, there’s certain things I remember fondly. Two or three people pop up in almost all of those memories – Grandad Horsey, Uncle Bob and Young Dave over the road (he is 10 years older than me but as his Dad was Dave, he was young Dave). And probably 90% of those memories are with Grandad Horsey.

The interesting thing is that I spent much more time with other people, people that loved me very much indeed, I have no doubt. But that’s not what I really remember.

I remember the times I was making Airfix models with Grandad and we’d walk done to the town to buy an engine to go in it. I remember him starting the painting of the models while I was asleep. I remember fighting uncle Bob in the garden. I remember playing pom-pom in the road with Young Dave.

As I look back, I remember the people most fondly, who got down on their knees and played with me doing what I wanted to do, not what they wanted me to do. I remember the people who I had a shared emotional experience with.

I’m going to make time and a special effort today to get down on my knees and play with all four of our children, doing something they want to do, and I’m going to enjoy it.

This is an area that I know I need to work harder in, but I am determined that when my children look back at their lives, I am gonna be one of those people they remember fondly! And it’s not enough that they know intellectually that I love them and provide for them and do the best for them .. I want them to feel in their heart that I love them unconditionally and I am a key part of their history.
 
Until next time .. 

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